Today I had the amniocentesis. I wasn't particularly worried about it. EGN had told me it was no big deal, and it was not.
Last night, it was very hard to grasp that it was still possible that we might have a baby. With the loss of the one and the heart problems with the other, it seemed like there was no chance of success.
Phil and I decided to find out the gender of the baby to help things seem more real and to better connect with the baby. The minute that I found out that the baby is a boy, I know that we had made the right choice. We want to give him the best chance of survival possible. We are trying to keep a positive attitude while still protecting ourselves from devastating disappointment.